I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
