I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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