We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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