I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
