i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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