At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
