If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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