i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
