Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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