he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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