I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
