...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
