I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My ass is underappreciated
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize