im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize