Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
