That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
