Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
