It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize