Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
