do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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