I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
