Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
