I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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