Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
