On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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