Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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