Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
