windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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