there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize