I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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