Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
