I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
