it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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