Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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