PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
