don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
