so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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