he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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