My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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