He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
