Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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