And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Randomize
