Barsexuality is the new black.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
