Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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