Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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