you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
