so that wasnt chicken after all
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
