I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
