wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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