Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize