You're my little dorito
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
