her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
