I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
