Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
