Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
