im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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