Where is the hickey?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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